Imagine being able to see the world through someone else’s eyes. It turns out you not only can, you often do.

According to research in a new field called “two-brain neuroscience,” if you and I are engaged in a meaningful interaction — such as a good conversation or a cooperative endeavor — our brain waves will actually merge, turning you and me into a we. Or, as Joy Hirsch, a professor of neuroscience at Yale’s School of Medicine put it:

“When we connect at a deeper level with others, our brain patterns mimic each other — we actually start to see the world through their eyes.”

To better understand what’s going on — and doing so is worth it — let’s set aside two-brain neuroscience for a moment and just talk about one brain: Our own. 

Our brain has somewhere between 80 billion to 100 billion neurons, and it’s the electrical firing pattern between those neurons that integrates our brain’s different functional regions (there are four of these regions: the frontal, parietal, occipital and temporal lobes). For this “large scale integration” to occur, however, the neurons between these functional regions need to fire (or, more technically, “oscillate”) at the same frequency. This is called “phase synchronization” and — importantly — many researchers postulate this is what gives rise to our experience of being conscious.

So now let’s introduce a second brain. Imagine you and I are having a meaningful conversation. What’s happening at the neural level? Amazingly, the same phenomenon that may give rise to our individual experience of being conscious -- phase synchronization -- is now happening between our brains. Neuroscientists call this inter-brain synchronization: Our neural oscillations are aligned and our two brains become “functionally linked.” 

In other words, in a very meaningful way, we experience sharing the same consciousness. Wow.

Now, if you’ve ever had the experience of really “connecting” with another person, you know what inter-brain synchronization feels like: resistance gives way to flow, obstacles give way to new solutions, and feelings of affinity and compassion grow.

Imagine then if we could achieve this inter-brain synchronization in a purposeful and intentional way. Better yet, what if we could achieve it with someone with whom we disagree?  How might it change our conversations and our actions — personally, locally, nationally, globally —  if we were able to literally see things from “the other’s” point of view?

Of course we’d need to want to do that — and why wouldn’t we? Well, that’s a good question for all of us to ponder. One reason, which rings true for me, is that it forces us out of our zone of comfort and certainty, and that can be a scary thing — analogous to that transcendent moment of hanging in the air as we leap from one ledge to another:

So what would we gain by making that leap? Well, again in a very real sense, we’d gain an expanded consciousness — one able to integrate the complexity of divergent ways of looking at the world. And when is being more conscious ever a bad idea? After all, isn’t it our level of consciousness that sets our species apart? Wouldn't a little more consciousness be good for humanity right about now?

I certainly think so.

So how can we do it? How can we intentionally bring about this merging of brain waves? Well, the steps are actually pretty simple. Here are three that research recommends:

Make eye contact: “Making eye contact activates the social brain and signals to another person that you are paying attention. It is one way we share intention and emotion.” 

Share your stories: Research done by a team at Princeton University found that when sharing stories, the brain activity of the speaker and the listener align over time. This alignment can be especially powerful when our stories are personal and reveal vulnerability.

Listen: Is there a difference between speaking a sentence and speaking it to someone who’s listening? I think we all know the answer to that one. Without a listener, the ability of storytelling to bring our brains together would not be possible. Like eye contact, it signals to the other person that we’re paying attention. Being listened to is also highly rewarding. It releases oxytocin — sometimes called the “love” or “cuddle” hormone — known to accelerate the formation of relationships and enable large-scale cooperation. No bad thing.

So, there’s one recipe if you’re interested in putting it to the test. If you do. I’d love to hear how it goes.

A final thought

All of this reminds me of something that’s puzzled me for a while. Think about the difference in conscious awareness between a baby and a 30 year old adult. Pretty dramatic, right? Well, have you ever wondered why there isn’t an equally noticeable difference in conscious awareness between, say, a 30 year old and a 60 year old? Or a 60 year old and a 90 year old? 

Why doesn’t the early trajectory of increasing consciousness continue? What, if anything, makes us think it can’t continue? And if it can — if our brain, and therefore our consciousness, can continue to evolve and change — might the functional integration with other brains, especially the brains of those we disagree with, be at least one means by which it occurs?

For me, it’s something to think about.