blog archive: “on the road to DC”
January 6 to February 6, 2017
The Difficult Conversations Project began in January 2017, when I took a road trip across the United States with my then 23-year-old son, Will. We called our journey “Pop the Bubble: A Conversation Road Tour.” Here’s how I introduced our road trip at the time:
These are turbulent times, and I’m compelled to do something. Tossed about by a fast-changing world our institutions seem ill-equipped to handle, it’s up to us to right ourselves, and to find some common ground on which we all can land.
In that spirit, and in collaboration with a diverse consortium of non-profit organizations I work with, my son and I are taking a California to D.C. road trip to engage folks in a dialogue about what divides us, what unites us, and how we can move forward, together.
Below are the blog posts we wrote during our travels, summarizing many of the conversations we had.
Bob and Julie (by request, not their real names) are an attractive, successful, middle-aged couple living in Austin, Texas. My wife, who knew Bob in high school, suggested we meet. She thought as Trump supporters they’d be good at articulating the conservative viewpoint. They were.
Trump had been in office one week when I met with several of the teaching staff—and one student—from Southcentral Kentucky Community College. None of them voted for Trump, but their backgrounds gave them insight into those who did.
At the University of Western Kentucky I met with three students, all of whom come from conservative backgrounds and, like those at the University of Pittsburgh, are involved with FeelGood: a non-profit youth movement committed to ending extreme poverty by 2030.
At the University of Pittsburgh we met with a group of students involved with FeelGood, a non-profit youth movement committed to ending extreme poverty by 2030. The students' responses are varied, insightful and often inspiring.
In Philadelphia we met with a lively group of middle-to-upper-class folks. I asked how they see the current situation in our country, their role in creating it, and what are our opportunities for moving forward. Here are a few edited excerpts from their responses.
I met Sarah on the Metro heading home after the Women’s March on Washington. I asked her what the march meant to her. Her answer traced her journey from anger and sadness to action. Here are some excerpts.
Shortly after President Trump's inauguration ceremony, I had the opportunity to speak to two Latina Chaplains and Trump supporters, Vivian Hernandez and Desiree Bernstein. Here's an edited version of our conversation.
On the day of Trump’s inauguration, we met two American University students, both Muslim. They’d been at the inauguration all day holding signs saying “Muslims for Peace,” and inviting passersby to stop and chat. We spoke with one, Sarmad, a 21-year-old from Centerville, Virginia. Here are edited excerpts.
In part three of our Durham, NC conversation we hear from Atrayus, founder, president and CEO of the non-profit Movement of Youth, which serves the "educational and social needs of underrepresented populations." He's also currently pursuing a Master of Arts in Christian Practice from Duke University Divinity School. His inspiring story is captured in part by a powerful TEDx talk he gave in 2014.
In part two of our Durham, NC conversation with four young men, we hear from Charles: husband, father, mentor, banking executive and Duke University graduate. Among his siblings he's the one who "made it out." But that success carries with it certain family expectations that often feel like a strong pull backward.
In Durham, NC we met with four men—Atrayus, Charles, Humberto and David—who in a wide-ranging, three-hour conversation gave us insights into worlds we have little exposure to. The conversation was so rich we’re breaking it into segments. First up is Humberto: A Latino who became a U.S. citizen in 2013.
As I pulled our car into the parking lot of our roadside hotel in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, a voice called out across the way. “You’re not coming all the way from California, are you?” It’s usually the large ‘Pop the Bubble— a conversation road trip’ magnet on the side of the car that draws questions, but as the miles of our journey stack up, our CA license plate will do the trick too.
We met George Rudolph, a Vietnam war veteran, at a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day celebration in Kelly Ingram Park in Birmingham, Alabama. The park is kitty corner to the 16th Street Baptist Church, where in 1963 four young African American girls died in a bomb blast planted by the KKK. One of those killed was Addie Mae Collins, the sister of George’s wife, Sarah, who was also seriously injured. The event is considered a turning point in the Civil Rights Movement.
Chris Arnade, photographer and storyteller, did a piece not long ago on the role of McDonald’s restaurants as small-After more than a week on the road to DC, our sampling of the country still felt monochromatic, and we wanted to get further outside the bubble we were purportedly popping. And so, in that spirit, we pulled off I-49 at Natchitoches, Louisiana to look for some lunch, and some spontaneous conversation.
On the way to New Orleans, we stop at a gas station. My son Will runs in to get me a cup of coffee while I sit in the car, windows down. A local comes up, looking every bit my Louisiana backwater stereotype. He reads our car magnet, and pokes his head through the passenger side window, smiling. "You on a road trip?" he drawls.
Frank Alexander is director of the Boulder County Department of Housing and Human Services—an agency whose work is often celebrated by the left and impugned by the right. In a state where 80% of the local elected officials at the county commissioner level are Republicans and 20% are Democrats, Frank’s department has had to bridge these two different mindsets. Here are some excerpts describing their approach.
For some reason we know a lot of people in Boulder, CO. Two of them are Corin and Chris, who invited several friends over for a lovely dinner and a two-hour Pop the Bubble conversation.
Sharon Spaulding is a marketing and communications professional with a passion for helping nonprofits and international NGOs articulate their missions and reach broader audiences about global issues. She’s also associate producer of a recent documentary, “3000 Cups of Tea, Investigating the Rise and Ruin of Greg Mortenson.” We spoke to her in her home in Sandy, Utah, which she and her husband Carl opened up to us during our travels.
We met Dave M. at a coffee shop in Reno, Nevada. My cousin introduced us. Friends since elementary school, he and Dave are personally close but politically far apart. So when my cousin heard about the Pop the Bubble Tour, he thought Dave could provide an interesting perspective. He was right.
Our first stop of the Pop the Bubble Conversation Tour. Hosts Kate Karpillow and Steve Sanders brought together six young professionals working on various social issues ranging from education to the environment to local sex trafficking. Five were Latino, one who immigrated when she was five. Another came to this country ten years ago from Nairobi, and now works for an assemblyman in the state capital. When asked how they were feeling about the current state of our union, “angry” and “fearful” were common responses, but so were were statements of hope and optimism, underscored by a sense of personal responsibility.
It’s been one week since Donald Trump became President-Elect Trump. During that time I've read thousands of words trying to explain what for many remains a disturbing and unexpected outcome.