Kern Beare
Don't Walk Away

We’ve probably all had the experience of walking away from a relationship because the other person held an opposing view on an issue important to us. But if we want to heal our divide, we may need to think and do differently.

Will Beare
Carrying On

There’s an understandable instinct to throw too much weight onto what happens on Tuesday, November 3rd, but we should be cautious to do so. I don’t mean to imply that the outcome doesn’t matter. It certainly does. But for those who’ve had personal relationships fractured by the turmoil, what happens Tuesday won’t necessarily change anything. The blame may lie with a political machine but the mending comes from within, so best to start now.

On Deep Stories and Alarm Systems

I recently came across an interview with renowned sociologist Dr. Arlie Hochschild, who spent five years “deep in Louisiana bayou country” to better understand the viewpoints of people she knew she’d have differences with. Her experiences and insights are chronicled in her New York Times bestseller Strangers in Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning on the American Right. nHere are a few edited-for-clarity highlights from her interview.

Opening up to new ideas

Deep listening turns the rules of debate on their head. Rather than arguing to win, our intention is to listen to understand — an approach that can lead to real change. For starters, being really listened to releases the neurotransmitter Oxytocin — sometimes called the love hormone — which is known to accelerate the formation of relationships and kickstart cooperation.

Can You Hear Me?

Ever wonder why you can navigate a crowded freeway while simultaneously creating a mental shopping list or preparing for a big meeting with the boss? Thank your brain’s ability to draw from past experience. But when it comes to actively listening to someone, our brain’s memory-based predictions can be a huge detriment.

Carrying On

There’s an understandable instinct to throw too much weight onto what happens on Tuesday, November 3rd, but we should be cautious to do so. I don’t mean to imply that the outcome doesn’t matter. It certainly does. But for those who’ve had personal relationships fractured by the turmoil, what happens Tuesday won’t necessarily change anything. The blame may lie with a political machine but the mending comes from within, so best to start now.